Death Wish
by CanzetYote
Summary: Trust Me I'm A Genie. Oneshot. After being dumped by Rita too many times, a depressed Diego considers making a suicide wish. It's up to Ziggy to smack some sense into his camel friend.


**NOTE:** _Thanks to mojokingkenny1 (AKA bahbugandhum), I recently got hooked on this 2011 cartoon called Trust Me I'm A Genie. It's about a smart aleck purple raccoon genie named Ziggy and his adorkable master, a camel named Diego as well as their friends (A bird named Zazie, a desert fox named Joe, a goat named Sonya, a lizard named Larry and a scorpion named Tony)._

_This is possibly the VERY FIRST Trust Me I'm A Genie fic to hit the internet so hopefully it's a good one. I wanted to show off a softer side to Ziggy. I've only seen about 7 episodes of the show so far and even though Ziggy can be a jerk at times, he's definitely my favorite character and there are times when I feel sorry for him (I wanted to hug him so badly when he cried at the end of The Big Screen Kiss episode!)_

_Anyway, this fic is about Ziggy talking Diego out of a suicide wish after having his heart broken too many times by Rita VanHump. Hopefully, I nailed the characters spot on (some characters I still have to get more familiar with, mostly Joe, Zazie and Sonya)._

_Also, I should warn you that oneshot this contains a little bromance between Diego and Ziggy. I pretty much hate Rita as a character for being shallow and kinda Sue-ish and I think Ziggego is a cute bromance ship._

_Feel free to read and review! This cartoon needs more love!_

The air of the cafe felt dark and gloomy as Diego slowly walked towards his room. The camel was rejected by Rita, the girl of his dreams for the umpteenth time and it showed on his face. Diego's muzzle was streaked with tears from crying so much in the bathroom. Ziggy, his faithful raccoon genie floated beside him the whole way home and neither said a word. Normally, Ziggy would make a bunch of smart remarks but this time was different. There was a heavy weight pressing on Diego, almost as if he was carrying the world on his shoulders.

Ziggy sighed and finally broke the silence, "Look, Diego. You've had a pretty rough day. There's plenty of other fish in the sea. It's not like Rita's one in a million is she?"

Diego hung his head, "That's exactly what she is...there is no other camel like her out there. She's perfect in every single way."

Ziggy rolled his eyes, "So what do you want me to do, whip up a love potion for her? We've done that already and look just how badly that one backfired. Face it, Diego, she's out of your league, it's time to throw in the towel. Not even my magic can help you."

Diego sighed, "You know what, Ziggy? You are absolutely right. She...doesn't even care about me or even like me."

Ziggy nodded, "Yeah. So why don't you set your expectations on someone a little more...down the Earth?"

Diego sniffled softly, "I...I can't be with Rita..."

Ziggy blinked a few times before glaring at him, "Yeah...So?"

"I'm thinking of a new wish, Ziggy..." Diego spoke softly, clasping his hoof to his pounding chest as a new batch of tears welled in his eyes.

Ziggy smiled, "That's good. Finally do something to put that rich broad outta your life-"

"-I wish I were dead..." Diego interrupted as he choked back a sob.

There was an eerie silence between the camel and raccoon. It was so silent that Ziggy thought he could hear the sound of Diego's tears softly hitting the hard floor of the cafe. The raccoon genie stood with his jaw hanging open and an icy shiver ran down his spine, "Repeat...that...again..."

"I...wish...I...were...dead..." Diego spoke slowly through his sobs.

Ziggy swallowed nervously, "Are...you sure about this?"

The raccoon felt his mouth go dry as Diego nodded slowly, "Positive."

Ziggy took a deep, ragged breath and stared at Diego with immense concern in his eyes, "I'm sorry, but I can't grant that..."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU CAN'T GRANT THAT WISH?!" Diego snapped as he grabbed Ziggy by his arms and pinned him against a wall.

Ziggy growled, "I can't kill you, ya big moron! And besides, that's the dumbest wish you could ever make! I'd rather stay stuck to this can forever than help you carry that out!"

Diego squeezed the raccoon genie's arms, "I DON'T CARE! I'm sick of this! I'm sick and tired of Rita not noticing me! If I were dead, MAYBE SHE'D NOTICE ME FOR ONCE! WE WERE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS, YA KNOW!"

Ziggy's tone now went from angry to furious. The genie raised his voice and shouted, "YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH RITA. IT'S ALL RITA THIS OR RITA THAT! IT'S EITHER LIVE AND LET DIE OR LOCK YOURSELF IN A NUTHOUSE WITH PICTURES OF RITA COVERING THE WALLS! YOU NEED TO STOP THIS STUPID OBSESSION AND GET ON WITH LIFE, DIEGO!"

Diego released the genie from his grip and crossed his arms, "Besides, if I were gone, who would miss me?"

Ziggy's eyes narrowed to tiny slits as he glared coldly at the camel, "Oh...you haven't the slightest idea? Very well then, I guess I'll give you a little taste of that."

And so, Ziggy burst out into a dance and began chanting, "I call upon the powers that be, a world mourning Diego so he can see!"

As the raccoon finished his dance, the atmosphere took an even darker turn. The camel drew the curtains on the cafe and looked outside. It was windy and raining and dark clouds gathered in the sky. It wasn't just raining, it was pouring. Ziggy poofed up an umbrella with his magic and handed it to Diego, "That weather isn't the real change. Come outside with me, there's a new addition to the oasis.

Diego was speechless as Ziggy led him outside of the cafe and into the stormy oasis. Poofing up an umbrella of his own, Ziggy sighed and turned his head so he was facing what appeared to be a chapel. Diego followed Ziggy's line of sight to a chapel and neither spoke a single word as the camel followed the raccoon genie inside.

The chapel itself was about as big as a high school gymnasium inside. The floor was hardwood and a blue carpet started from the entrance of the chapel to the end of the stage. The walls weren't adorned with religious figures but instead with framed pictures of Diego with his friends. The sound of a church organ filled the air and the camel turned to see Tony playing a sad, slow reprise of Diego's favorite song on the church organ.

It took a while for Diego to recognize the tune. After all, Tony had clippers instead of opposable thumbs so his playing was a little off.

Ziggy winced and covered his ears at Tony's painful church organ rendition, "They should never let a scorpion play an organ...it's like nails on a chalkboard!"

Diego sighed, "At least his heart is in the right place."

Joe turned and glared at Tony, "Would you mind keeping the racket down? We're trying to mourn the loss of a dear friend, not attending a Rebecca Black concert."

Tony sighed and hung his head, "Sorry, Joe."

The desert fox rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. Larry turned to Tony and smiled, "I can play the organ. I made sure to get all cried out before the funeral."

Tony nodded, "All right, take it away."

And so, the tall lizard sat down at the organ and began playing a sad rendition of Diego's favorite song. Tony scuttled over to an open casket which held the lifeless body of a certain hawaiian shirt wearing camel.

Ziggy blinked a few times, his eyes misting up with salty tears as he squeezed Diego's hand, "Diego...that's you in there..."

Diego blinked a few times and shook his head, "Really?"

Ziggy nodded sadly, "Yeah...don't you see just how much your friends will miss you?"

Diego felt a tear run down his face as he watched Tony deliver his eulogy, "Friends, ladies, gentlemen, we are all gathered here today to remember all the good times we've had with our good friend, Diego. He um...he uh...he uh..."

Joe rolled his eyes, "Will surely be missed?"

Tony nodded, "Yeah, that's it."

Zazie was sobbing openly, tears dripping down her beak as Sonia hugged her close. It was a hard scene to watch. Ziggy bit his lip and struggled to keep the sobs at bay. Joe drew a shaky breath and shut his eyes. The desert fox began to remember all the good times he had with Diego. The more and more he thought about it, the more he felt his tear ducts open up. Joe finally stood up only to collapse on his knees, tears streaming freely down his muzzle as sobs shook his body like a violent earthquake. At this point, the tears of Diego's friends were falling even harder than the rain outside.

Joe slowly got up and marched up to the steps to Diego's casket and glared at the camel's lifeless body, "HOW COULD YOU DO SOMETHING SO STUPID? WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU TAKE YOUR OWN LIFE LIKE THAT, YOU NITWITTED IMBECILE!?"

Once again, the desert fox collapsed to his knees in a fit of sobbing. Zazie slowly got up and walked up to Joe. With tears wetting her beak, the bird wrapped her wings around the crying fox and pulled him into a tight embrace, gently rubbing his back and cooing to him as if he were a distressed child.

Diego turned to his raccoon genie friend, "Why...why aren't you there?"

Ziggy had hot tears rolling down his snout as he lowered his head. The tears fell from Ziggy's pointy nose and onto the floor like rain. He was sobbing so hard he couldn't even speak. Diego put his arm around the tearful raccoon and instantly, Ziggy floated up to Diego and threw his arms around him in a tight hug, resting his head on Diego's left shoulder as his tears soaked the fabric of Diego's hawaiian shirt. Diego's own tears dripped upon Ziggy's sleeveless vest as he returned the hug. For what seemed like hours, the camel and raccoon cried in each other's arms before they finally broke away.

"So..." Ziggy began as he knuckled a couple tears from the side of his muzzle, "Do you now see why it's a bad idea to off yourself?"

Diego took a deep breath, "Yeah, but if I were dead, wouldn't you be free?"

Suddenly, Ziggy's eyes narrowed as he slammed his fist as hard as he could across Diego's muzzle, knocking the camel's buck teeth straight out of his mouth, "DON'T LIE TO ME, YOU NUMBSKULL! The real reason you wanted the make that wish in the first place is because RITA DOESN'T LOVE YOU! And besides, you know what happens to genies whose master commits suicide? We disappear FOR GOOD. Is that what you want, for me to go away?"

Diego shook his head frantically, "No...no no. That's not what I want at all. Ziggy, you're my best friend and nothing will ever change that."

Ziggy broke eye contact with Diego and stared sadly at the floor, "Best friend, huh? Never heard those words directed at me before. All my life, I've been treated like garbage. I didn't have a single friend till I met you and your buds. When I was little, I was kind of the runt and I had to fight to survive. I had strong magic but compared to other genies, mine was weak. I know I've been a jerk before. I've lied. I've stolen. I've cheated. But you must understand, Diego, I did it all to survive. The world hurt me so I felt the need to hurt it back. I was pushed around a lot as a kid and to be honest, you remind me of myself when I was younger. I want you to make me a promise."

"What?" Diego asked, now feeling extremely sorry for Ziggy.

Ziggy sighed and looked up at Diego, "Promise me that you'll keep that warmth. Never let anything bring you down and most importantly, don't turn into me. I'm a washed-up failure who can't do anything right. I've been nothing but a selfish jerk."

Ziggy whimpered softly, another tear slowly slipping down his face. Diego gently brushed Ziggy's tear away and pulled him into a hug, "Don't cry again, Ziggy. You're not a failure."

Ziggy sniffled quietly and rubbed his eyes, "You're just sayin that cause I can grant wishes."

Diego squeezed Ziggy even tighter, "No, you're so much more to me than just my genie. You're the best friend I could ever ask for, Ziggy. It doesn't matter if you have magic powers or not and today, you've just saved my life." Diego turned his head to face his friends who were all sobbing over his casket, "You're right, Ziggy. My friends would miss me if I killed myself. You're not a failure and you're certainly not a selfish jerk. If anything, I was the jerk for only thinking about Rita and not everyone else. You're not a bad guy, Ziggy. You're just scared."

The raccoon genie choked back a sob, "You're right...I am scared. I'm sorry for punching you so hard, Diego."

Diego sighed and patted Ziggy on the back, "I had it coming to me. For a little guy, you sure have a killer left hook on ya!"

Ziggy smirked a little, "Thanks. I've been training a little with Sonia. Sometimes I practice self-defense in case I lose my magic somehow."

Diego smiled warmly at his raccoon friend, "So, are you ready to go back?"

"Consider it done, my friend!" Ziggy replied, snapping his fingers. And so, the camel and raccoon transported back to the front of the cafe. It was dark out and the night sky was full of twinkling stars. Diego looked around and breathed a sigh of relief because the chapel wasn't there anymore. Ziggy gazed deep into the dark night sky of the desert, taking in it's beauty. The camel slowly put his arm around the raccoon genie and smiled, "Sure is a beautiful, night, isn't it, Ziggy?"

"Aren't you going to tell me what beautiful eyes I have?" Ziggy replied sarcastically with a wink.

"Right after I'm done kissing you, you adorable little cutie you!" Diego joked right back, playfully punching the genie's shoulder. Ziggy rubbed his arm a bit but he couldn't help but smile at how much he cheered his friend up. Suddenly, a shooting star streaked across the night sky and the camel pointed up at it, "A shooting star, Ziggy! Make a wish!"

Ziggy chuckled a bit as he rolled his eyes, "Me?! Make a wish? I'm the one who grants wishes, ya big dope! Why would I feel the need to make one?"

Diego smiled at Ziggy, "But Ziggy...if you could wish for anything you want, what would it be?"

Ziggy closed his eyes and thought about it for a bit, "I'd wish for...you to be happy no matter what."

Diego scratched his head, "But I thought you've always wanted freedom from that can?"

Ziggy let out a sigh and hung his head, "I've lived a hard life, Diego. I'm not proud to admit it but I was the biggest crybaby ever as a kid. Even nowadays, I cry a lot when I'm alone in my can. Whatever happens to you, I want you to stay happy. Don't get me wrong, you're an idiot but deserve to be happy. Besides, after breaking genie law and being resentenced to my can, I've grown used to it."

The camel smiled at the raccoon, "You've come a long way since we first met, Ziggy. You've grown up."

Ziggy simply rolled his eyes at the remark, "Oh, please, I'm still much older than you. After all, I am a genie."

Diego nodded and smiled at the raccoon, "Yeah. Well, today has been a pretty tiring day. All this crying sure took a lot out of us."

Ziggy nodded, "So, how about we just hit the hay and take it easy tomorrow? You're right, today was a pretty exhausting day."

There was no reply. Blinking a few times, Ziggy glanced over to Diego who was now fast asleep against a wall. The raccoon genie smiled warmly at his master through half-lidded eyes and contemplated retreating back to his can to sleep. Ziggy felt a tear of joy trail down his muzzle as he thought about Diego's kind words. Instead of retreating back into his can, the genie floated up to his master's sleeping body and nuzzled the camel's chest with his pointy snout, resting his head on him, "Good night, my sweet master."

As if on instinct, the sleeping Diego wrapped his arm around Ziggy, cuddling him close like a stuffed animal as the warmth of his body slowly lulled the genie raccoon to sleep. Diego and Ziggy were now snuggled together in sleep without a care in the world. However, the situation may take a turn for the embarrassing if one of their friends found them cuddled like this. Especially Tony or Joe.

The end.


End file.
